Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
