i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
