yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
