Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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