how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
When are your genitals available?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
