you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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