Sponge bath it is.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
