He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Actions speak louder than pants.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
