Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
