Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
