Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
