Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize