She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I just gargled with NyQuil
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
