I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
