im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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