if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
