bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
