No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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