Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
