Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
