The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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