Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
