You work out of a Hotel?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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