At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Randomize
