absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
