All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
