$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
