bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
When did angry sex become our thing?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
