You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
