I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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