What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
