she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
