plz talk dirty to me
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
