if i died would you start the facebook group?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
