Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
