Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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