He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
