Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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