remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
