there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
