i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
