my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
