Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Randomize
