just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I checked into jail on foursquare
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
please don't ironically join a cult
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