If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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