Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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