CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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