It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
