And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize