i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
