dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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