wat bout pragnant strippers??
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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