If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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