I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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