Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
