that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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