We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
