Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
She's just so happy...and so naked.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Vodka?
Forever.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
