you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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