All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
