loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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