we have pet lesbian snakes
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Randomize
