dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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