I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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