I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
