So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
