My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
