yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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