I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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