He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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