all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
