I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
