Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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