ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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