i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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